Week 4 Reflection – LTEC 6010: Rethinking Theory, Philosophy, and Doctoral Thinking

At first, when I started learning theory and philosophy in this program, I have to admit that what I had learned from previous courses (especially when I was pursuing my masters) hadn’t even come close to scratching the surface. Ideas about theory seemed abstract, and the long complex texts had me feeling like the authors were trying to confuse me instead of helping me. At the beginning, I thought theory was just something academics would add to "actual" research, such as a decorative frame to hang a painting. I felt philosophy was even farther away from "practical" work. However, over the course of the last few weeks, my perspective on theory and philosophy has changed greatly. Today I see theory and philosophy as the foundational aspects of research itself; they form how we think, the questions we pose, and what we accept as knowledge in the first place.

It took many readings and a significant amount of digging into, for me to begin to understand terms such as epistemology and ontology from a more profound perspective. I came to realize that these concepts are not intended to provide immediate answers but to facilitate understanding of how we construct knowledge in the first place. When I finally grasped that concept, there was a change in how I went about learning. I began to appreciate that doctoral level thinking is not about obtaining definitive truths, but about being comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty. It's about acknowledging that our ideas are constructed through frameworks we rarely acknowledge. As time passed, I grew increasingly comfortable with not knowing the answer to every question. I've come to value the tension created by questioning deeply and the reluctance to settle the issue quickly.

My newfound comfort with uncertainty has also influenced how I communicate through writing and speaking. Prior to this experience, I believed that if I gathered sufficient evidence, that my argument would be robustly supported and lead to obvious conclusions based upon the data. I now take an additional step back and examine the underlying assumptions of the evidence I present. I now ask myself what perspectives influence how I interpret the evidence and I am now referencing thinkers I never envisioned I would incorporate into the conversations. I do not merely refer to their theories to demonstrate familiarity; I utilize their thoughts to engage with issues that cannot easily be resolved. I have also become more willing to challenge my own arguments and recognize how each side of the issue stems from distinct and contextually based decisions. Currently, I communicate (write and speak) not only about what I believe but also about why I believe it.

The greatest transformation for me has been understanding the differences between a PhD and a master’s degree, or other professional degrees. Before, I thought that a PhD was simply "more research," a longer and more developed version of a master’s program. Now, I see that the distinction between a PhD and a master’s or other professional degree is not based solely on the quantity of work involved in achieving the degree; the fundamental difference lies in the type of thinking required to achieve the degree. Many master’s programs in my opinion are designed to apply existing knowledge to real world problems, which is extremely important. However, doctoral studies go one step further, they inquire if the frameworks that we use to identify and resolve the very same problems are, in fact, part of the problem itself. While the application of knowledge is essential to doctoral studies, the inquiry into where that knowledge originates and whose perspectives are represented in it is equally as important. This is a far less predictable process than the application of knowledge, however, it is also the most transformative aspect of this educational journey.

I have begun to understand the PhD as not a pathway to becoming an authority figure who possesses all knowledge, but as a process of cultivating greater awareness, philosophical, ethical, and personal. I have also gained the understanding that research does not merely serve to explain the world, it assists in shaping it. Having gained this awareness has instilled in me feelings of empowerment and humility. Through working with theory and philosophy, I have developed the ability to think more critically and more responsibly regarding my function as a scholar. The work that we complete as researchers does not simply contribute to academic dialogue, it aids in the development of how knowledge evolves.

More than ever, I feel connected to the nature of thinking that is required to pursue a PhD. Not due to my acquisition of all the answers, but due to my gaining the ability to pose better and more meaningful questions. For me, that is the essence of academic life; maintaining curiosity, allowing for uncertainty, and utilizing theory and philosophy to expand beyond what we believe we currently know.